Adair's Story
Because I was able to obtain a safe and legal second trimester abortion, I was able to conceive again.
My name is Adair. I am the proud mother of three beautiful and healthy children.
I had been happily married for 11 years (17 now) and my husband and I desperately wanted to have children, but had a hard time conceiving. When I found out I was pregnant, I was overjoyed and already head over heels in love with the baby I was carrying. Three years later (I was 36 by now), I found out I was pregnant again. And all over again I fell in love with my new baby. Because I was 36 and had crossed the magic line of “advanced maternal age”, my doctor recommended some prenatal testing. I had a blood test taken which indicated that my baby had a 1:16 chance of having a serious chromosomal abnormality. I had previously had ultrasounds that were deemed normal, but after the blood test results, people were on the phone telling me that there were some problems indicated by the ultrasounds that would require an amniocentesis to deny or confirm. With the ultrasound results, my baby’s odds were changed to 1:6 for having a chromosomal abnormality. So, I had the amnio. There’s no hell like waiting for two long weeks to find out if the baby you want to have and love and provide a good life for is healthy.
I had three choices: 1) continue the pregnancy knowing that my child would likely face many surgeries is his first year of life and still never have a normal life, 2) terminate my pregnancy by labor induction, or 3) have a second trimester abortion. I spent the entire two weeks of waiting for my amnio results researching everything I could on my child’s likely condition and on my options. I also considered the fact that I have a difficult time getting pregnant and this precious baby may be last no matter what option I chose.
There is nothing more horrifying than the voice of your ob/gyn on your phone. She was calling to confirm that my baby did have a chromosomal abnormality that could not be treated.
By this point, I was 20 weeks pregnant and feeling my baby move. I still chose to have an abortion. As a mother, I could not knowingly bring someone into the world knowing that they would not have any chance of having a happy or normal life. I could not watch my child suffer. I could not watch my older child be challenged because of or find herself in a position to defend her sick sibling. And if anything were to happen to my husband and me, I feared my older child would be forced into caring for her sibling.
While I understand that if you go through labor induction, you get to hold and see your baby which I would have liked to have done, I chose the abortion because it is quick and while I’m guessing a fetus doesn’t experience pain, I didn’t want to take any chances and I wanted to let him go as humanely as I could.
I was an emotional wreck after my abortion and sought counseling. What I found is that I had absolutely no guilt over having an abortion and that I really did and still do believe that as a mother I did the most responsible thing that I could given the situation. I did need to work through the grief though because even though I terminated my pregnancy by choice, I still lost a baby that I was in love with.
I believe that 98% off all abortions are performed in the first trimester. Most prenatal testing results are not available until the second trimester. Placing a ban on second trimester abortions would attack women who are carrying sick babies and prevent them from making the decision that is best for the child they are carrying and their already existing families. This decision belongs to mothers, not to the government.
I have read stories that in the past women who faced situations like mine could only choose abortion by hysterectomy, meaning they would be forever punished and not allowed to have any more children. Because I was able to obtain a safe and legal second trimester abortion, I was able to conceive again (and again!) and now have three healthy children that have every chance of growing up to be good people, having good lives and contributing to society to make this world a better place.
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